Marital rape
By: Menna Zain
this subject is so common in the society, that’s why I’m posing it…
Only for debating not for fighting, because never fighting was a guidance for a solution.
First of all, let me define “marital rape for you”, and clarify if it was created spontaneously or based on a reason…
Rape obviously means: forcing someone on something or taking something from someone without a permission…
Is this concept applied on married couple?
Yes, according to the definition I gave you it’s also applied on married couple and well considered as a disrespectful attitude towards the woman and vice versa, but mostly vivid in woman causes…
And it was spread without a purpose, a lady should call for her own rights, so for the man, but if a man was selfish and asking his wife to blindly obey him and go to bed, after they fought or showed no mercy at all, it’s not making sense… being together, right?
If the desire wasn’t existing as one of the required terms in the intercourse, there should be no gathering… and this would be quite unfair if the unwell couple bred such an innocent kid raising in a toxic environment… and dealing with difficult conditions forever… seeing his mom and dad fighting and separating… so why reaching consequences like this one?
Why would you get such a small kid involved in your own troubles!
Almighty Allah said in his holy book: “He creates for you mates out of your own kind. so that you might incline towards them, and He engenders love and tenderness between you”
It’s neither a war nor a fight, it only relies on mercy and respect you both owe to each other as long as you are together.
It’s not okay when he abuses his wife and ask her to go to bed with him.
It’s not also okay to insult such a good husband and ask him to dwell with her and to ask him joining the same bed.
Relationships dispersions should be taken in consideration and against it, we should seriously prohibit such a rejected intercourse or a continuous in general.
God has set out divorce in hopeless marriage causes… due to preserving rights belonging to both women and men likewise, that’s based on one of the verses mentioned in holy Qur’an, states “A divorce may be revoked twice, whereupon the marriage must either be resumed in fairness or dissolved in a goodly manner”.
Is this assumed as collapsing a household?
Nah, not at all,
But I would fairly label a toxic behavior such as domestic abuse and irresponsible abandonments as household collapsing.
Let me also provide you with extra two verses from the Qur’an saying:
1. “either retain them in a fair manner or part with them in a fair manner”
2. “But do not retain them against their will in order to hurt”
That refers to such a respect paid from Islam to women, and Islam renounces from such a concept which is hateful against women and any other speech unlike this is a responsible over the misleading advocator.
And so Islam recommends a necessary respect for men, as I don’t want you to call me a racist protesting against men, so a lady should respect a man and so the opposite.
If you are not capable to maintain your relationship you better rescue the remained good deeds between you and separate…
Or never be included by accepting a marriage proposal when you are not ready.
A lady can refuse such an intimate process due to tiredness or due to a fight, she has the total right, no objections.
And a man can refuse such an intimate process due to tiredness or due to a fight, or because he has debts need to be released from his restrictions primarily, and it’s not essential that he’s having an affair or stopped loving you…
So be wise and patient, you both on each other…
Are your words claimed to mean that each problem will take place that both should part from each other?
Not at all, no troubles! No life.
But dealing wisely with the problem is required.
And avoiding an intimate process after a fight is necessary, otherwise, it’s not allowed.
Follow the perspectives of prophet Muhammad “peace be upon him” treating his wives good and during fights he asks God to have his forgiveness over his wife and to take away all the anger she carries in her chest and to protect her from strives.
You take your legal right only after you set your matters perfectly with your wife. She’s not a slave for you, you should respect her rejection and put in consideration that for the record, you are not the only one seeking satisfaction so you have to supply her the same way you want for yourself, and give up your pride.
But if your wife constantly refuses to be in bed with you, that’s a different topic to talk about, you still owe her respect as part of your manners, and as said in Qur’an “But those wives from whom you fear arrogance, first advise them, then if they persist, forsake them in bed, and finally, strike them”
And the work “Strike” refers here to abandonment or separation not beating them in a literal meaning.
So far we discussed the religious and social perspective, yet not mentioned the sides of the psychology and law; hence we should firstly mention the sentence attached to marital rape or even if it was admitted by law, so law no. 267 of Egyptian penal code states “that forcing a lady to be such involved in an intercourse can cause a man to be whether sentenced to death or permanently jailed”, apparently no vivid text states a wife cause here, so there are two probable ways to select an opinion for this,
Either negative by saying “Except for being in a legal relationship” or positive by including the wife in the case.
And for the psychological issues associated to “marital rape” as it previously was labelled and accepted are:
let’s all confess that a person who does something like this even under the title of being married or claiming to have rights as a husband is quite not healthy and struggling with a mental issue, and that was a troublesome dilemma carved in brains for centuries…
but let’s talk with details…
– Infertility causes a man to doubt his masculine abilities and unfairly act to his wife
– Misgiving in lady’s behavior or finding her suspicious due to infernal thoughts shared by your friends last night can cause a disaster
– A lady who compares her man to other men can cause him to be violent towards her, despite that, she doesn’t deserve it.
– Alcoholic addiction, or drug addiction can cause a man to be abusive
– Being raised in a toxic family, in an environment full of violence can be producing a monster
– Being raised as a king and all the women are servants created only to please a man is also a reason
And other related matters but I briefly talked about relevant ones and most common in the society.
So after we mentioned all 4 sides, how about figuring out solutions?
– Well, occasionally I should remind you that you will be consumed if you accepted a bride due to family pressure
– And so for the ladies accepting marriage proposals without an individual desire
– If you don’t guarantee to your woman being safe and loved around you, don’t propose to anyone
– If you are already married and your wife rejects you frequently without reasons, divorce her but not beat her.
– If the opposite happens, a lady should ask for a divorce if the man refused she would call for a help from her family or according to law by entrusting a lawyer.
And one more solution before I end my article, please initiate cyclic campaigns especially in south regions to lead people religiously and psychologically in this matter.
Thank you and stay safe.
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